Long Exhale... Brain Dump 06/09/2009

I've been plugging away some long hours over the last few months, but I'm back to shake some dust of the blog here. No cohesion promised here, just a spewing of some of the more evocative and interesting ideas, quotes, etc that I've seen since the last post:

- Jon La Grou introduces an awesome home construction enhancement, cheap, smart, simple. Updating 150 year old technology, bravo. 5 min video

- John Mauldin on the current crisis: "..This again illustrates the problem of using past performance to protect future results. You have to look at the underlying conditions in order to get a real comparison, and we have not seen a deleveraging recession in the US for 80 years. Using the past data in today's world is useful, and may be harmful to your portfolio." >> Word.

- Pimco's Paul McCulley on the current crisis: "There's nothing like a bull market to make geniuses out of levered dunces."

- There's a battle Royale taking place right now in the debate on the future of interest rates. We saw the low trend break down over the last two weeks, and what followed was one of the biggest downlegs in the bond market I've ever seen. Cheerleaders of the recovery think that long term interest rates need to be higher to attract investment capital. The Federal Reserve can't continue to make the market with mortgages at 4.5% if all of the 'safe haven' dollars are now getting cozy with alternative vehicles to the US Treasury markets. But are we even out of the woods yet? With credit contracting, and unemployment rising (10% here we come!) how are we supposed to spend our way back to positive GDP growth? It doesn't add up... I said it before, and I'll say it again, we've got a lot of bites left in this sandwich...

- US Housing affordability index (which began tracking data in 1971) was at an ALL TIME HIGH before rates popped. This has been bringing in bargain hunters to gobble up the excess housing inventory. But the momentum was just getting going. With rates up, it knocks the index back a ways. But financing a home today is still cheap by historical standards. 30 year average of the 30 year fixed mortgage rate is closer to 7.500%

- In much of the recent economic press, there is discourse along the lines of "the worst is behind us". The stock market has had one or two down weeks over the last three months. In other circles, we hear "commercial real estate is the next shoe to drop". Given that it would be less likely that the government would bailout strip mall developers, will the markets be able to shake off an era of see-through buildings and continue dancing like there's nothing to worry about?

The Simpsons on 'The Meltdown'

What are you, some kind of talking dog? Put down your gins, and confess your sins! watch now.

Today's View of Capitalism is a Joke

In traditional capitalism, you have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

In American capitalism you have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

In French capitalism you have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

In Italian capitalism you have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

In Real capitalism you don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.

In Enron Capitalism you have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

In Californian Capitalism you have two cows. They are happy.

In Arkansas capitalism you have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

Sign of the Times...

2008 Q3 Financial Dictionary

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no “fun”.
BROKER -- What my financial advisor has made me.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor who mistakes himself for a financial genius.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Former investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

Worth A Watch - Bird And Fortune

Bird and Fortune - Subprime Crisis

How To Get Your March Madness Fix In September

There is no better time in the sporting calendar than the first weekend of March Madness. It can be a long wait year over year, especially if your bracket gets blown out early. So what is one to do in the downtime, especially when the Giants and A's can't make the playoffs, the Olympics are over, the Raiders and 49ers are struggling at best, and you don't give a rip about hockey?

Play September Madness, of course.

What's The Monthly Payment On A 2 Billion Dollar Home?

A lot.

But you probably have other types of problems when you are worth $42bn than making your mortgage payment. Such as, figuring out which of your 6 levels of garage you want to park on for any given day, or deciding which in-your-house gym you'd like to lift weights in. Or finding your kids.

Due up this January, the world's most expensive home. There are video and photo tours in this article. Not really my style, but I could manage...

Hidden Camera Inside A Mortgage Company Office?

Is this the scene inside a local mortgage company office? Could be, although the lack of empty desks might be a clue that it is not. Nonetheless, it is a fair depiction of the office rage that I have heard too many times in the last year.

I have heard a few statistics ranging from 40-50% workforce attrition in recent weeks. To be perfectly honest, while I know some great people are being knocked out, the industry was due for a cleansing. All markets need to correct when they grow out of control for a prolonged period.

Sign Your Mortgage Yearbook? No Thanks!

I got a solicitation email today inviting me to purchase the 2007 Mortgage Yearbook. Yes, its important to understand this market and what we have come through and what we have learned, but this is a year I'd rather forget. You can read about the offer here.

Actually, this is probably pretty valuable info to the Secondary Marketing and Pricing teams with various mortgage lenders, but I'm not paying ~$500 for it.

I just wanted to suggest the cover photo to commemorate the year.

A Great Place To Shop For Foreclosures

Its called Catanzaro Way in Antioch, California... take your pick...

There will undoubtedly be some money made by the bottom-feeders of the real estate market. And by bottom feeder, I mean opportunistic investors who use market conditions as a lever to snag inventory on the cheap. They feed off the market at its bottom. Because lets face it, what goes up must come down, but when it comes to housing, or just about any other investment, what comes down goes back up ... eventually.

We'll see a deluge of infomercials hosted by "real estate gurus", featuring average looking folks sitting poolside in a Hawaiian shirt at some resort in Orlando, and talking about their bounties in terms of monthly incomes. For $99 or $599 or 3 easy installments of $129, you can buy the books and tapes that unleash the secrets of how to get your own Aloha shirt and two tickets to the Radisson Disneyworld. We've seen it all before... These guys who make a living selling the recipe instead of baking the cake are arguably the real bottom feeders, but I can't tell you who is/isn't legitimate in that world...

But timing the markets is the challenge. Once you hear its time to get back in, it might be too late. So understanding how to find a good home, a good investment deal, and manage it safely without exposure to excessive risk will be the key until the market booms again. We'll definitely be keeping an eye on this...

How To Get Out Of An Option ARM

Thoughts go out to those affected by fires in Southern California.....